I like to write blogs and journalistic pieces but I consider myslef a creative writer first and foremost. This has created a problem for me since I started. At least one of my charcaters has always been based on me. I have found it almost impossible up till now to write a main character that isn't exactly like me.
Have I not been trying hard enough? This is definitely one possibility. I am writing a story at the moment basing the main character on a real person but still as I write he is turning into me. I was determined this time to make him different but as I go along he is talking to another guy about my problems and I can't seem to help myself. I'm getting these ideas that I have issues with myself and until I get over these I won't be able to write characters which aren't like me. But is that just me being lazy? Is it another excuse not to do it? If I push myself harder will I get there? Will I ever be the person and the writer I want to be until I get get over them?
It is a difficult question because it is so serious. Maybe I do need help but maybe I do need to work harder. Neiter might be the answer, or both. The truth is that I'm afraid to let go of my demons. I think sometimes they are all I have. My issues are my identity. What sort of a life would I have without them?
My life is based on me. I know everyone's is but I think I live within myself, not in the world. Does anyone feel the same?
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